I have a 4-month break from university over the summer. That is a very long time and means you have to find something to do over the summer in order to keep yourself busy!
This year I decided to go to Italy and give au pairing a try. This was my first time as an au pair, but I was intrigued by the concept.
Mainly for the travel opportunity, but also because I liked the idea of looking after children and trying to teach them some English.
If you want to know more about my experience or what my advice on anyone else interested in au pairing would be, please read on. I have divided this post into different sections, so you can simply skip to the part you are interested in.
- Finding a Family
- Arriving in Italy
- Everyday Life – What was it like with the kids all day?
- What was Italy like? Culture, food and travel.
- Would I do it again? My tips and advice.
- Conclusion
1) Finding a Family
I got in contact with the family via a website called aupairworld.com. It was very easy to set up a profile and completely free to do so! I could then select my preferences as to which country I would like to au pair in, how long I wanted to stay, how many children I wanted to look after, etc. The website then suggested family profiles that matched my criteria. Aupairworld.com allows you to message any family you like. And the families can also see your profile and get in touch with you.
I contacted many families in France first (because I can speak French). But they didn’t want someone for just a month. I then expanded my search to other European countries, and was eventually contacted by a family from the north of Italy.
The family´s profile looked nice and after messaging them a few times I spoke to them via skype. I felt like they were a nice family with 3 very cute children. So, shortly after our conversation I booked my flight to Milan Bergamo. And that was that. I was going to Italy.
2) Arriving in Italy
I landed in Italy (Milan Bergamo airport) at 8pm on a Sunday evening. The father and the oldest daughter (6 years old) came to pick me up from the airport. We drove back to the house where I met the mother and the other two daughters (3 and 1 year old). The parents were very friendly, and the children were extremely excited. They then showed me my room and bathroom. It was a nice enough bedroom with a small bed, desk and wardrobe. I also have my own bathroom downstairs in the cellar, which was nice, as it gave me some more privacy.
3) Everyday Life – What was it like with the kids all day?
All I can say so far is that it is hard. Very hard. At the end of day 1 I had to escape from the house after dinner and call my mum to have a cry on the phone…
Me, after week 1…
That was me after the first week. I was completely and utterly exhausted!
I think the first week was especially hard for me because the children were still extremely hyper. They wanted to show me everything and play every game they owned! Thankfully, as the days went on and the children got more used to me being there it got a little better. The children started playing by themselves more and I had some space to breathe.
Another thing I struggled with was not being able to speak a single word of Italian. The parents were able to speak a little English and I was of course there to teach the children. However, it was quite difficult to communicate with them when they didn’t really understand anything I was saying, and I couldn´t understand what they were saying either!
So yes, at the end of day 1, I was so overwhelmed by the whole experience, I had to call my mum for a cry… 🤣 After that first day though, thankfully it got better.
Daily schedule:
The days there were extremely long! I woke up to be ready to give the children their breakfast at 8:00 a.m. Lunch was at about 12 o’clock and dinner was at 19:30 p.m. By the time dinner was finished it was always about 20:30 p.m. – after that I was finally free! I had a one-hour break in the afternoon, but still that was about an 11-hour “work day”.
The mother went out to work and came back at around 2 p.m. The father was at work all day and often didn’t come home until 7:30-8 p.m.!
They had a babysitter who came for 2 hours in the morning to look after the baby (but only during my first week, then she was on holiday) and the grandmother came at around 10 to take over.
Basically, that meant I was never really alone with the children, as the grandmother was always around… I found that very hard, as I felt watched all the time and she didn’t really let me do my own thing with the children. She always had to give the okay for us to play outside or go to the park etc…
Never being alone with the children was one of the main things I disliked about the experience and would make sure wasn’t the case if I ever did au pairing again. See below for more things I would look out for next time.
4) What was Italy like? Culture, food and travel.
This was only my second time in Italy! I was in Tuscany once with my family a few years ago, but we were only there for about 4 days… So this time, as I was staying for a month, gave me a better chance to get to know the culture, food and country.
I love pasta but having it for LUNCH AND DINNER EVERY SINGLE DAY is TOO MUCH! One thing is certain, when I get home I need a break from pasta!
Food
One thing that was definitely unusual for me were the eating habits. For one, they don’t really have a “proper” breakfast (and I LOVE my breakfast…). They only have little cakes or biscuits and that´s it. To be honest, I don’t know how that fills them up until lunch… Luckily, they asked me what I wanted and when we went to the supermarket I was able to buy some yoghurt and bananas for my breakfast.
The lunch and dinner setup was not what I am used to. Obviously, at home, meat, carbs (pasta/rice etc.) and veg/salad are all eaten together at the same time. In Italy you start with the “primo piatto” which could be anything ranging from pasta, to rice or even pizza!
Only once you have finished your pasta, do you have the meat followed by vegetables or salad. It’s an interesting setup I suppose, however it is not something I think I´ll continue when I get home. The hardest thing is to judge how much pasta to eat, because you don´t know what’s coming next!!! And I will admit, I love pasta but having it for LUNCH AND DINNER EVERY SINGLE DAY is too much!
I also think having all the individual courses is a difficult thing to do with children. Once the children have finished their pasta and the meat is still being cooked, they already get bored and get up from the table. It is then very hard to get them to sit back down again to continue eating. Lunch/dinner times could therefore be extremely exhausting.
The ice cream was the best thing about this experience!🤣
One thing that was great though, was that there was the most amazing gelateria right around the corner from the house. Everyday, on my evening walk, I would go past there and try one of the many flavours they had to offer. If there is one thing this experience did confirm for me, it is that the Italians really DO make the best ice cream!
When people say the Italians don´t speak English – they mean it!
Language
I could not speak a single word of Italian before I went to Italy to work as an au pair. I thought that being able to speak some Spanish, I would find it easier to understand Italian and pick up the language. However, although the languages are similar, when people spoke quickly, it was very hard to understand what they were saying. And I have to say, not many people tried to speak slowly to me to help me understand.
Oh, and I was also very naive, thinking that people would be able to speak English to me. I know that people say that the Italians don´t speak a lot of English, but I didn’t really believe it. I thought that surely they would at least be able to speak a little. But I was wrong! Most Italians really can’t (or don´t want to?) speak any English!
I tried very hard to communicate with people and obviously I did learn a few basic Italian words and phrases whilst I was there. Not much, but enough to get by. I did by the end, however, find it a lot easier to understand what people were saying and follow conversations at dinner, even though I could say much myself. Most importantly though I understood most of what the children were saying to me, which made things a lot easier.
Traveling
The weekends were an absolute lifesaver! I definitely needed some time to myself and the opportunity to “escape” from the house and the children for a while.
I was really lucky, because I managed to get in contact with an American girl who was also working as an au pair in the area. We got on really well and it was really nice having someone there who was in the same situation as I was and who I was able to have a proper conversation with!
If I hadn’t met her I don´t think I would have been confident enough to travel as far at the weekend and visit the places I did.
The first weekend I went to visit Brescia and Iseo. Then, the following weekend my new-found American friend and I went to Desenzano on Lake Garda and visited the city of Verona (where Romeo and Juliet is set).
On my final weekend in Italy we went to Venice for two days – it was absolutely beautiful! We spent the night in a hostel in Mestre, just outside Venice city centre. the name was Wombat´s City Hostel and it had only opened recently. That meant everything was still extremely clean – and it was only 13€ in total for the night! So if you ever go to Venice I can really recommend staying there.
For 20€ you can get an ACTV ticket which gives you unlimited usage of the public transport for 24 hours: the “vaporetto” (boats) in Venice and also the bus between Mestre and Venice if you stay outside the city.
Getting around Italy….
Travelling with public transport in Italy is a bit of a nightmare!
Most buses don´t run after 5pm or on the weekend, which can be very inconvenient.
The trains are the best way to get around, however they can be extremely late, all the trains I got were between 20 and 60 minutes delayed…
One important thing – if you are getting the train don´t forget to stamp your ticket at the station before you get on!
5) Would I do it again? My tips and advice.
Do I want to be an au pair again? I am really not sure. I feel like the idea is still very good, and the opportunity to experience life in another country and do some traveling was great.
It isn’t necessarily a summer “job” though, as you don´t tend to get payed a lot – I only got payed about 10€ a day.
They did obviously give me a place to stay and food, but for working 11 hours every day it really isn’t a lot. Especially if you are wanting to travel at the weekend, you won’t necessarily end up with much of a plus at the end. Due to travel expenses and also paying for my flight to Italy I didn’t have any extra money left after this 4-week experience. So, for earning money, au pairing is not the best thing to do.
Having had this experience though now, I know, if I were to do it again, what I would want to make sure of beforehand. If you are interested in working as an au pair, perhaps these points might be something you would like to consider, too.
1) I want to be able to speak the childrens´ language.
As I mentioned above one of the hardest things for me was not being to speak any Italian. It got easier as the weeks went by and I picked up some basic phrases. At least then I started to understand what the kids were saying to me. It´s fine if I am there to teach them a foreign language, but I feel like when the kids have almost no prior knowledge of the language, it is paramount to also be able to speak theirs. Otherwise it is just extremely difficult to communicate.
2) My role needs to me more clearly defined.
This was something I really struggled with. Am I only there to teach them English? Am I allowed to tell them off when they misbehave? Or am I really just there to just play with them?
I wasn’t really involved in anything that didn’t involve simply playing with the kids. The parents didn’t even show me where the kids´ clothes were in order to help them get dressed, for example, nor was I ever in charge of making lunch or dinner. All I did was set the table. I basically had 0 independence and a very unclear role which I really struggled with.
Also, I found it annoying that I wasn’t able to find my own routine with the children but constantly had someone else tell me/suggest what to do with them. And all my own ideas were not really encouraged…
It was also hard constantly having someone else (mainly the grandmother) around, because that meant that the children didn’t really come to me for anything.
For example, if they were thirsty, instead of telling me, they would run to the grandmother, who then gave them something to drink. So probably she thought I was just incapable/too lazy to do it.
Another frustrating example was with regards to the kids asking permission to do something. For example, the kids would ask me if they could watch TV and when I said no, they just ran to the grandmother and asked her instead. Often she then said yes, so that basically took away any authority I might have had.
3) I need some independence/alone-time with the children.
One of the most annoying things for me was that I was hardly ever alone with the children. The mother or grandmother were always around – so I felt watched ALL THE TIME!
It was soooo annoying, because then I felt obliged to sit next to the children and play with them constantly, instead of encouraging them to play by themselves for a bit.
I therefore never got to find my own routine with them, be the person who cooked them lunch/dinner or the one to help them brush their teeth or get dressed in the morning. I was more of a babysitter, rather than an au
Basically, most of the time I felt in the way and didn´t see why they really needed me there.
4) I would like to know my hours roughly beforehand and, based on that information, decide if I am being paid enough or not.
As I mentioned, I was watching/entertaining the children for about 11 hours every day. I only got 10€ for that, at home for babysitting I have almost been paid 10€ per hour… I didn’t expect my days to be that long when I arrived. And only having 1 hour off in the afternoon was then not really enough.
6) Conclusion:
All in all, I have to say that my first au pairing experience wasn’t entirely what I had imagined it to be like. If I am being honest, the thing I enjoyed the most was traveling around Italy at the weekends!
The family was really nice and did make me feel welcome, however due to the lack of independence and long days I found the experience very draining. I just feel like it didn´t meet all my expectations of being an au pair.
At least now I know what to look out for if I were to do it again.
Hopefully you enjoyed this (slightly different) blog post. Perhaps if you are also thinking about working as an au pair, it has given you some points to consider.
As always, if you have any questions, feel free to leave me a comment below.
